HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo.
3. Put some giant dog bowls on the porch by the boots.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the dogs. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. Don’t know which one started it, so I locked all four of 'em in the house.
See ya soon.
Barney
