Thoughts from life.

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

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TEN BEST CADDY REPLIES

May 27, 2009 at 7:47pm
#10 Golfer: "I think I am going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

#9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

#8 Golfer: "Do you think that my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

#7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually!"

#6 Golfer: "You got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

#5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time."
Caddy: "It's not a watch, it is a compass."

#4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally I prefer golf."

#3 Golfer: "Do you think it is a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it is a sin on any day."

#2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

AND THE #1 BEST CADDY COMMENT ....

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it is too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
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Putting Types

May 27, 2009 at 7:45pm
The 'Rock Hudson' - a putt that looked straight, but wasn't.
The 'Saddam Hussein' - from one bunker into another.
The  'John Kennedy Jr.' - didn't quite make it over the water.
The  'Rodney King' - over-clubbed.
The  'O.J.'- got away with one.
The 'Princess Grace' - should have used a driver.
The 'Princess Di' - shouldn't have used the driver.
The 'Condom' - safe, but didn't feel very good.
The 'Brazilian' - shaved the hole.
The 'Rush Limbaugh' - a little to the right.
The 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way to the left and out of bounds.
The 'James Joyce'  - a putt that's impossible to read.
The 'Ted Kennedy' - goes in the water and jumps out.
The 'Pee Wee Herman' - too much wrist.
The 'Sonny Bono' - straight into the trees.
The 'Mickey Mantle' - a dead yank.
The 'Paris Hilton' - a very expensive hole.
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What a pitching performance!

May 2, 2009 at 2:06pm

TJ pitched the first 3 innings of his AAA tournament game. It was win or go home for his team and he came up huge. In 3 innings of pitching he gave up only 1 earned run and 2 unearned runs, while striking out 1 with no walks. He gave up only 2 hits as well. The most amazing part is he only needed 36 pitches, but this is the amazing part 30 of them were for strikes and he threw only 6 balls. 3 of them were in the 1st inning alone. What an amazing display of accuracy for a 10 yr old. WOW!

Thankfully his teammates played great defense and got him an early 8 - 0 lead. They went on to win 11-5. Next game Tues. If they win they play Wed, and if they win Wed, they have to play Thurs. Hopefully we'll win Tues because than were guaranteed no worse than 3rd.

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Something Only a Golfer Can Understand

Mar 7, 2009 at 6:32am
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all
eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.

Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!"

"I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife ha s been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care, and you will be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"
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Please note that Chase Budinger's face is not a doormat

Jan 25, 2009 at 11:24am
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Russ Jackson

Russ Jackson

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